Sometimes being in a new place with no friends is really hard.

Today is one of those days. I don't want you to feel bad for me, because I am doing really well here. I have amazing vocal instruction and great music classes. I have a clean cool (referring to temperature) room and a plethora of yummy food to eat! And I live in St. George! What more could I ask for? Well, not much in reality. But there is one thing. I am trying to be real good about getting out of my shell and go to FHE or Institute or Mid Week Activities, but it is really hard. I don't know why it is as hard as it is for me. But I really struggle for the last couple of months to get out and make new friends. My roommates are great, but we never do anything together and I go to FHE by myself and hope there are friendly people to hang around.

Sadly, today there were not many friendly people. I think I might just be a scary person sometimes. I went up to a group of girls that seemed friendly enough and introduced myself. They said their names and then we talked for a min before they turned and started talking to themselves again. I tried to interject myself into their conversations, but they were having none of it. So, after a half hour of standing near them to look like I was social, I excused myself and decided I could justify leaving because I had homework (which was the exact reason I came to FHE, to avoid doing it.) I can't tell you how much I appreciate when people make an effort to allow me into their "social group".

It is hard to live away from home with no friends. Usually I do pretty well in finding people to spend time with in the ward, but I don't know. Maybe today was just an off day.

I decided I didn't want to go home yet, so I went to Walmart to go grocery shopping since I was out of all types of food that didn't require you to just add water. As I was walking through Walmart, I began to get semi nervous about being around people. I just didn't think this was a good thing. So I bought my groceries and then jetted out of there. I could feel my life slowly spinning out of control as I began to organize things in my brain. I thought about buying all sorts of office supplies and rationalized it this way: "If I am more organized, I will have more friends." Then the light switch snapped in my brain, "First off, you don't have the money to buy these sort of things and secondly, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Because I don't have very many things to do here, I tend to organize and re-organize my stuff quite frequently. The only time I have any un-organization going on is when it is laundry time and I am stressed and the dirty clothes didn't quite make it into the hamper. So I walked out of walmart without more organizational supplies. Just armed with things for my smoothies and some dairy to help cut my cost of going out to eat. I haven't done that in a while! Be proud of me!

Anyway, this is my pathetic life. Maybe I will start serving. Yeah I think that is a good plan. Some old person has got to need someone like me in their life. Crazy, Goofy, Outrageous and just wanting to do something. Yeah that is me.

Well, Love ya.
Mikayla